Big Ten Week 12: Hard To Focus

Last week I took a break from football due to the disgusting situation at Penn State. I found it very difficult to concentrate on something other than the question of evil: Are people born evil or is it learned? Maybe there is a neurological reason. Maybe mankind still hasn’t understood the intense power of learned behavior during childhood. I can’t solve this question. No one ever has. I hope someone does.

But back to football. It seems so meaningless now doesn’t it? ANYWHO, I was pretty happy to see Penn State lose to Nebraska, as most of the players on the team felt that Paterno was a victim himself. And because Penn State is probably the most boring team to watch. They use two quarterbacks who both suck and their games average a total of 34 points. In other hot seat news, poor Ron Zook is getting asked about his job security. How could this be? His 34-49 record over a 6 year period isn’t enough to please you Illini fans? Tough crowd. I take it you guys don’t like that he has lost 4 straight after starting 6-0 either. Nothing can please you guys. No exciting national games this week besides USC @ Oregon. Damnit.

11:00 CST

Indiana @ #15 Michigan State (-28): So this kid Tre Roberson has started the past three games (Iowa, Northwestern, Ohio State) for the Hoosiers. In those three games, he’s had a completion percentage of 57% and only thrown 2 interceptions. He has also run for at least 70 yards in each game. A true freshman that went up against teams 8 games into their season. GUNNER KIEL WHO? During their last game against Ohio State, Tre made only one bad decision that cost IU the game. He’s getting better with each game and might give the Spartans a run for their money. A 30% chance I’ll put on it. If only IU had a defense. I dislike Michigan State and refuse to acknowledge them.

#16 Nebraska @ #18 Michigan (-3.5): Neither of these teams deserve their rankings. This is how this game will play out: Denard Robinson will try to throw. Michigan will realize they can’t throw on Nebraska’s defense. Especially with Denard’s jelly arm. Denard will run. Nebraska will stop that run. Then Nebraska will run. Nebraska run good. Nebraska run hard. Nebraska run win. NEBRASKA RUN WIN. GAME OVER. Btw, having Taylor as a man’s name just doesn’t make sense to me. He could be a good guy, nice guy, man’s man, but I don’t understand naming your SON Taylor. That’s why TYLER was invented. Fuck.

Iowa @ Purdue (+3): Well well well. Boilerup eh? Thursday Robbie Hummel drained a 3 to beat Iona 91-90 in San Juan. That play will always be remembered as “The Annexation of Puerto Rico”. Now I got you thinking. I got you where I want you. Go watch Little Giants. It misses you, you miss it. The whole thing is on youtube. Last week Ohio State crumbled. I’ll give Purdue SOME credit. But Ohio State just sucked. They almost lost to IU the week before for christ’s sake. This game is a tale of two mediocre Big Ten teams. STAY AWAY. ALERT. STAY AWAY. Unless you want some McNutt. He’s my guy.

Minnesota @ Northwestern (-16): Before I begin my two invaluable cents, here is an article by our own Etheria Modacure previewing this game in a more respectable manner. This can’t be real. It just can’t be. What I’m about to say is serious. Northwestern could lose this game. For some god damn crazy ass insane irrational immoral stupid reason, Minnesota defeated Iowa and almost beat Michigan State. I’ve been bashing Minnesota all year. I will continue to do so for years to come. Forever as a matter of fact. You want to know something even more insane? Some friggin’ kid picked Minnesota over Auburn. What the hell is going on up there with all those lakes?

#17 Wisconsin @ Illinois (+15): I have an odd feeling that in the middle of a play, Ron Zook will run out onto the field and steal the referee’s microphone and yell, “THIS ISN’T ABOUT ME. IT’S ABOUT THE TEAM, DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO ME.” Probably not though. BUT IF IT DOES, told ya so. Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how much Wisconsin will win by. 20? 30? Can’t be more than 30. Let me guide you to two articles written by people who do care about Illini football: Ryan Clark who wrote about the fight song and Ryan Meisch who BREAKS SHIT DOWN. Read them, not me.

2:30 CST

#21 Penn State @ Ohio State (-7): I hope the interim head coach drives this team into the ground for the Nittany Lions. I also hope that Ohio State can get over their stupid loss to Purdue. I would say just run Herron all day, but Penn State’s defensive line is far too solid for that. The more I think about it, the more boring this game could be. What a stupid team formula to have an awesome defense and an awful offense. Who wants to witness that? This will be the only time in my life I root for the Buckeyes as well. Wait, screw that, I’m rooting for both teams to lose. Jerks.

I’m on twitter: @midway_gatlin