Big Ten Week 5: It Begins

WE MADE IT! YOU AND ME! WE MADE IT! Conference play is finally upon us, so instead of seeing two shitty non-conference games, they can be combined into one shitty conference game. My life has gotten so much easier. Just a little reminder, Ohio State and Penn State cannot win the Leaders Division. Somehow Illinois, Indiana, Purdue, or Wisconsin is going to be in the championship game. How very disappointing.

Here are some links to more Big Ten porn by the Midway Madness Crew: Northwestern Begins Conference Slate Against Indiana by Etheria Modacure & Beckman vs. O’Brien by Ryan Abramson. Don’t like to read? We have a podcast for you too: Big Ten Ballin’.

Indiana v. Northwestern (-12)

Our own Mackinley Salk was talking to me about this game and he voiced his opinion that he is actually a little worried. I assured Mack that IU lost to Ball State in Bloomington. I also told him to chill the fuck out. If Northwestern loses this game it will be because they beat themselves, not vice versa. It is true that Indiana had an extra week to prepare for the Wildcats but their defense is atrocious. They gave up 192 yards rushing to Shakir Bell of Indiana State. Don’t worry Mack, the ‘Cats have Venric Mark. There will be some cool jerseys in this contest.


Penn State (-1) v. Illinois

Ahhh, another week another Penn State player has chosen to walk off the team. Sophomore quarterback Paul Jones has left the team for personal reasons. I would like to know why it’s taking so long for these decisions to be made. Why not leave a year ago? An article in the Chicago Tribune this morning discussed the empty seats at Illini games. Being a White Sox fan I am used to this predicament. BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES. YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN’T DOING SOMETHING RIGHT. MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE YOUR TEAM SUCKS. Sorry Ryan, but they do suck. The good games are at night; don’t waste your time with this crap. Maybe something will get heated since Illinois sent eight coaches to Penn State to try to recruit players this spring. You can always just watch the highlights.


Minnesota v. Iowa (-7)



Marshall v. Purdue (-17)

Purdue actually looks like a team that can make it to the Big Ten championship game. Who would have friggin’ thought that head coach Danny Hope would be buying himself more time due to suspensions on two teams. Not like Penn State would make it, but it still lowers the eligible teams. Marshall is currently ranked first (383.5) in passing yards per game and 16th   (41.0) in points per game. Yes, those  stats are super easy to look up BUT my point is this game will be closer than expected if Marshall’s offensive line can hold up.


No. 14 Ohio State v. No. 20 Michigan State (-2.5)

Welcome to Big Ten Conference play Urban Meyer, where tradition is now and now is the past and we still think we can take on the SEC and we haven’t produced an NFL caliber quarterback since Drew Brees and Tom Brady. (RUSSELL WILSON DOES NOT COUNT). Both of these teams did not stomp on their opponents last week when they should have. Maybe UAB and Eastern Michigan are just better than everyone in the world seems to believe. Maybe. Or maybe these are two mediocre college football teams that are lucky to have numbers in front of their names. Disgraces to the Midwest. Take the under at 50.5. (If I told you to jump off a bridge would you?)


Wisconsin v. No. 22 Nebraska (-12)

These two teams are going to be sporting some real hot jerseys come tomorrow. If only one of them would get to wear all blacks. I swear teams play better in all black jerseys. I write better when I’m wearing all black. That’s just how humans are wired. Rex Burkhead and Montee Ball are going to play this week. Last game, Ball was knocked out after a hit he took on the goal line. He insists that it wasn’t a concussion. Burkhead came back last week off an MCL injury to rush for 119 yards and two touchdowns. Granted, it was against Idaho State, but he is an elusive runner that makes the most out of his blockers. Wisconsin will probably fire a coach during the game. I can give you odds if you would like to gamble with me.


And remember: Kegger. My place. We’ll watch some real football. SEC BABY SEC!


Follow on Twitter @kyle_gatlin


  • ThisBLOWS

    Kyle nothing written about the Iowa and Minnesota rivalry TROPHY game? REALLY? This is a garbage site show some recognition C’MON MAN!!!

    • Big Ten baby!

      I don’t think anything needs to be said about a game that is going to be over in the first 5 minutes. This site is not garbage……c’mon man look around

    • brennan barry

      you probably play in leagues where everyone gets a trophy at the end of the season. and you probably really like that

  • Cornhusker

    I don’t think Nebraska or Wisconsin has all black jerseys.

  • Kyle Gatlin

    @ ThisBLOWS:
    No one deserves any trophy for that game.
    I hope you enjoyed it though and thanks for reading!