Gamblers Phenomynous: Week One

The running joke around the Midway Madness campus is that I am a degenerate.

It’s one of those ‘funny because it’s true’ jokes. I will wager on just about anything. If you give me odds, I will take the rain drop coming in last running down the passenger side window. Only if you give me odds of course.

I take action on how late someone will arrive, how long it will take one of your buddies to break out his favorite catch phrase and I end all bar arguments with, “I’ll put twenty on that.”

I hit a low high point earlier this year when I saw a line out for WWE wagering. Yes, you can wager on

MidwayPat is the best in the world

scripted sports entertainment. WHAT A COUNTRY! I see C.M Punk is barely favored over Chris Jericho and I jump on it. Punk, the man who just saved wrestling with his epic shoot is going to drop a title at Wrestlemania to a part-time wrestler? I don’t think so. I cashed that ticket and have never been happier.

So I guess degenerate probably fits.

Earlier this week, I was sitting in the office when a big ass dude that looked like he stepped right out of boot camp walked in. This guy was a monster, it looked like he could do 100 push-ups without breaking a sweat. So naturally, we start talking about push-ups, and next thing you know I was challenged to do 10 push ups for $100.

Apparently I have fallen so far out of shape, the thought of me doing 10 push-ups sounded like easy money to this guy. Two of my favorite things happen to be drinking beer and sitting on my couch watching sports. Who knew these two things wouldn’t help me keep a chiseled physique? Needless to say, I pounded out 10 and added a clap on number 11. Nine more and I may have passed out, but I hit 10 and cashed in a hundy.

But now football is upon us. When the calendar turns to September, it’s really magical for me. You have baseball pennant races with college football and the NFL underway. Life as a sports junkie or a degenerate really doesn’t get any better. Many argue that March is their favorite sports month, but nothing beats October. Football has been building for weeks and my first love, baseball, is crowning a champion. It’s like Christmas.

Every Friday I will be bringing you my picks, probably a bad beat story and of course, a crappy photoshop.

Let’s start with three NFL Futures (THERE IS STILL TIME TO GET THEM IN!)

Tampa Bay Bucs’ Win Total Over 6: Last year’s Bucs squad was the classic victim of too much too soon. Everybody was on the Josh Freeman bandwagon last season and it crashed horrifically. Do you remember when they were 4-2 last year? Yeah, that happened before the 10-game losing streak. I think this is an NFC team to watch out for…or at least win seven games.

Da Bears’ Win Total Over 8.5: If you didn’t jump on this early, it may not even be worth it anymore with the juice you have to lay, but I laughed at this line when it came out. The Bears were a 7-3 team before losing their quarterback and running back last season. They add Brandon Marshall, a starting caliber back up QB and Michael Bush,

and somehow they are going to go .500 or worse? I am not ready to print Super Bowl tickets, but if the Bears fall short of nine, I give up.

Washington Redskins’ Win Total Under 6.5: I don’t believe in RGIII. Until he consistently makes throws through NFL windows and not the gaping barn doors of the Big 12, I will remain a skeptic. A rookie QB with a middle-of-the-pack defense in that division? UNDER UNDER UNDER.

And onto Week One (Week Two of College). I am not one of those guys who will play every game and try to pretend I know everything. I pick out a dozen or so games and narrow it down from there.


Utah -6.5: Friday night lights. Utah has dominated this series the last five seasons. Jordan Wynn is back and there is no room for slip ups before the 12 Pac season begins.

Wisconsin -6.5 : Another year, another QB transfer to lead them to a B1G conference title. Montee Ball will be too much in a comfortable win.

UCLA +5 : I believe in Jonathon Franklin and I believe the Bruins win this straight up.

Texas A&M +1 : Making their SEC debut, but with one of the nastiest crowds behind them. Florida gave up 4+ yards a carry last week and have yet to find themselves since Urban Meyer quit to go be with his family. find a better job.


Bucs +1: As I stated above, I like this Bucs team and I think the Panthers are going to be victims of ‘too fast too soon’ syndrome.

Lions -7 (buy the hook): New rule, anytime you can get money in against Sam Bradford, you’ve got to do it. The Rams secondary is still midgets running around and they just can’t go punch for punch in Detroit.

Chiefs +2: The Falcons and all those fun toys at -2 just looks too tantalizing, doesn’t it? Jamaal Charles is back and Arrowhead is tough for anyone to play in. I like K.C. to have a rebound season and it starts in Week One. (I just bet on Matt Cassell, kill me now).

Saints -7: A pissed off Saints team versus a rookie QB I think will be a bust making his first start on the road in that dome? Nothing else to say here.

Follow all of my degenerate thoughts on twitter @MidwayPat