When I began to compose my last article – which more or less stated this series against the Minnesota Wild would be a cake walk – I was clearly on a binge of Dr. Feelgood’s Opening Round Victory Juice and a rag soaked with ether. Oh, devil ether.
What I momentarily forgot then and am realizing now is that the Wild are a better team than they were during the last go around. Even with running joke Ilya Bryzgalov minding their net. Matt Cooke has certainly made the most of being allowed to play again. Even Mr. Mike Yeo seems to be getting a hang of this “playoff hockey thing”. Rumor has it they may try for this every year.
So congrats, Minnesota. You effectively rendered two of my evenings a shameful waste of moderately priced domestic beer, far too many lippers of Grizzly Wintergreen and cigarette breaks in between periods. You basically made me college.
This series has had other strange turns of event, too.
The Xcel Energy Center made the United Center look like the foolish, false sense of superiority it is for two straight games… Rallying cry #FreeMorin fell by the wayside as poor play and overall bad-ness led to #CageMorin… A hack coined the tag #CageMorin… A city once again turned on a goaltender not named Bryzgalov… Native Minnesotan Nick Leddy? Bench, sir… Brandon Bollig’s rallying cry with a two game suspension for an illegal hit from behind…A series that was tied at two games…At home? Win. Score first? Almost always win…Twitter…
Besides creating amazing things like #CageMorin (bows), I also spend a lot of time exploiting time tested journalistic mediums. Aside from run-on sentences, what do I mean just to make myself clear hi mom? Why, the ‘Question and Answer’ segment, of course! In this sure-to-be-popular portion, people got to ask me anything. I also invented AMA.
@NorthsideGooner: Do you believe in the #CTS Curse? #AskThatBrennanGuy
-Yes. It first reached fever pitch with an obsession with the Supersonics but had been reported in places like Atlanta, Hartford, Winnipeg, and most recently Vancouver in a Game 7 –
Mark T: How much do you miss Camel Turkish Silvers?
-Smoking them? Probably more than I realize or care to admit. Selling them to people? Not nearly as much as I should. Seriously, fuck that job-
Mark K: Scrubs?
-Only that very hilarious last season-
Shannon K: How much do you miss Garage Days?
-I look back fondly on my time trying to party by not exceeding medium to low levels of noise. Also, if I drink a warm beer from a Solo cup that doesn’t contain at least half the floor dirt and a ping pong ball, it just seems like a waste-
Chris D: Why do most people have a designated drawer of junk at home?
-This is honest to goodness an amazing question and certainly is rooted in the psyche of humans. Right up there with the collection of plastic bags in another plastic bag. These ‘knick knacks’ are surely of some importance (batteries, yarn, candles, flashlight, walkie talkie, phone book) but aren’t the everyday call to duty items like forks and such. Also, I’ll bet money either within that drawer, or in the drawer closest to, there is a deck of cards and some dice-
Sarah M: Why do birds suddenly appear when you are near?
-This is also my favorite Simpsons related door bell-
Mackinley Salk, CEO/Founder of Midway Madness: Which NHL player is Brennan attracted to most? Sexually, of course.
-I get the feeling you want me to say Mike Modano. So, Mike Modano-
Mark S: Can you explain why the Money Chant ever stopped?
-It had its proper send off with a lot graduation parties and blackout whiskey, but no. I cannot. Temporarily, it was because we couldn’t be late for 5th period-
Mike G: Why am I so sexy?
-Because you work hard. You play hard. You also drive a Volkswagon-
Justyna G: Who does Chicago collectively hate more, Jay Cutler or Corey Crawford? Also, how many NBA games will D. Rose play in his whole life?
-Clever girl, with your two-parter. First, it’s probably the same idiots hating Cutler and Crawford. Let’s agree on that. Even though “dis da Bears town” I would have to say Crawford is collectively more hated, because people are really terrible when it comes to niche things like hockey and just talk for no reason. Seriously, fuck those people. I hope D. Rose still has a career somewhere in those legs. But he won’t be around when we’re 30-
Mike I: Which of the current Hawk “core” players is next to be off the team? Is Kyle Beach still alive? Have you ever microwaved a marshmallow?
You strike me as man who wants it short and sweet, friend. Brent Seabrook. Beach is currently serving table No. 5. And only once I moved out of my parents’ house-
Brittany L: Who wears short shorts?
-Mackinley Salk wears short shorts-
Bryan C: What is the most difficult thing to do in sports?
-Move a hockey franchise out of Phoenix-
Send more questions to Brennan on Twitter #AskThatBrennanGuy @midway_brennan